Honesty

I am in the throes of a bad week.  I think I have talked before a little bit about Molly and her fits.  Well, this weekend she was in rare form.  I have been feeling like a failure of a mom.  I don’t think Molly is a bad kid, but she doesn’t know how to express her frustration in any other way but throwing a fit.  It is frustrating.  I have tried so many things.  I will be the first to admit that being consistent is the hardest thing for me.  I don’t like it when my kids have to miss out on things, so sometimes I provide ways for them to earn them back.  Well, not anymore.  Molly missed both birthday parties she was invited to this weekend.  That was hard.  Not only did she miss them, but she had to go in, give the present, and explain that she had to leave because of her bad choices.  This seemed to make an impact, she was definitely sad.  We also started a sticker chart that is now hanging on her door.  For each day she doesn’t throw a fit she will earn a sticker and to get to do anything fun we may have planned, she must have  5 out of 7 stickers for the week.  Yesterday was day one and she earned her sticker.  Today is good so far, but I have only seen her for about an hour before she went to school.  ; )

Also this weekend we were doing yard work.  I helped by digging out some grass in an area we want to put a new garden.  I also used the hand clippers to trim back all my rose bushes and some other bushes we have.  After doing this I could not stop my hand from trembling.  Seriously!  I could not take a drink, hold a pen, or keep my hand from trembling.  I was scared!  I, of course, googled and everything says see a neurologist, sending me into a tailspin of nerves.  I went to church last night all worked up adding to my nerves for Joshua who was in the kids musical.

Joshua performed in the church musical, GPS, and he did such a great job!  The musical was so cute!  The kids all did a fantastic job, the evening was such a blessing.  Joshua was a police officer who pulled over the main character for speeding…super cute!!

I came home and went right to bed…I was on overload!  Worrying about Molly, my hand, being nervous for Joshua, great performance, sick stomach…ugh!  I need a mental health day, but alas, it is not in the cards for me.  So, writing this blog is my outlet today.  I was feeling a bit better about things today until someone said to me “Molly just doesn’t seem very happy anymore”.  Crushed.  You never want to hear that about your kid!  I am now blogging and crying and praying for a better day.

–A

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2 Comments to “Honesty”

  1. You need to not cry. Well…OK. Cry if you want to. Sometimes crying helps too 🙂 I told you by text yesterday that all of your stress and nerves will mess with your PHYSICAL nerves. You are tense. That makes muscles tense. Can pinch nerves. I am sure you are just fine. This from the hypochondriac. I have had enough doctors tell me “do you know how much stress can affect the body?” Calm down and it will fix itself I am certain. You are NOT a failure as a mom. If you are…what does that say about the rest of us!?!?!?!? Parenting is never easy. And guess what…you have MANY more years of her not seeming happy. This happens when they are unhappy. Being grounded isnt fun. Thats the point of grounding them. I have an 8 and a 15 year old. They don’t seem very happy either when they are yelled at all the time, but only consistency will fix her tantrums. Think back to your teen years, Angela…and remember Molly is JUST like you.

    Take a deep breath, remember I love you and think you are an AWESOME parent! YAY for Joshua rockin the musical. WOOT! – Savory

  2. “Failure as a mom” and Angela Curry don’t ever belong in the same sentence! But you are sure not alone in feeling that way at times! I don’t think there is a mom alive that thinks they are doing it all right or have it all together. Personally, I have never seen that side of her. She is always fun and pleasant to be around. But sounds like she is a passionate girl and your mothering and training, with God’s help, are going to help her take that passion far in life to do great things. Just like her momma! 🙂

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